Tabbing Stories, Labeling Feelings: Encouraging Emotional Reflection Through Reading
By: Ida Piker, PsyD
Remember the feeling of being so absorbed in a book that the world outside seemed to disappear? The buzz from conversations on your crowded bus fades away, and suddenly, you’re wandering through a forest, sharing a secret with a friend, or exploring the vastness of outer space. In our fast-paced, social media-driven world, many people turn to reading not just to escape, but to tune into their emotions and reconnect with their inner world. Reading offers a safe space to experience emotions fully and to return to them when you are ready.
In my work, I have seen how stories, music, and art can help children find words for feelings they might otherwise struggle to experience. One beautiful strategy I have noticed some children organically turning to is tabbing books—placing colored tabs on pages that evoke particular emotions. A child might choose a blue tab for calm moments, yellow for happiness, or red for anger. As they read, they place the tabs on the pages when they feel something and later revisit those sections to reflect on their emotional responses.
From a psychological perspective, tabbing engages children in a process called emotional labeling, or noticing, naming, and differentiating emotions. When children tag pages based on their in-the-moment feelings, they practice recognizing emotions as they arise. Over time, they begin to distinguish between more nuanced emotions, such as frustration or anger. They also become more comfortable sitting with emotions that might otherwise feel overwhelming, such as sadness or grief.
Color-coding their feelings can help children organize big feelings in a manageable way. By labeling a page as “happy” or “brave,” they’re telling themselves “This feeling is familiar. I know where to find it when I need it.” Like journaling or using an emotion wheel, tabbing becomes a personalized, self-directed emotional toolkit.
A fascinating aspect of tabbing is that tabbing creates an emotional map– a tangible record of your emotional experience. It is a guide for children to return to specific feelings when they need them. On a hard day, a child might revisit pages marked with yellow tabs to reconnect with joy or turn to red tabs to reflect on moments of courage. When feeling anxious, they might reread scenes when the character overcomes fear, drawing strength from those examples. Sometimes, they may want to sit with sadness, knowing it is safe to do so within the pages of a story. Tabbing empowers children to move through their emotions intentionally, returning to familiar pages as emotional “safe places” for reflection and comfort.
Beyond emotion regulation, tabbing also nurtures empathy, perspective-taking, and Theory of Mind- the understanding that other people have perspectives, thoughts, and feelings different from your own. When a child tags a page where the character feels anxious, brave, or lonely, they are actively rehearsing, noticing, and understanding someone else’s point of view. This practice builds emotional empathy and helps children develop greater capacities to see and feel from another person’s perspective.
Parent tips
Parents and educators can support this process in simple but meaningful ways:
Asking open-ended questions like, “Do you have a favorite tabbed page you want to show me?”
Allowing kids to sit with pages that resonate with them, rather than rushing.
Offering access to a range of books and letting children take the lead in choosing and exploring books of interest to them.
These actions validate your child’s emotional experiences, reinforce their sense of agency, and create opportunities for you to connect through stories.
How to Try it
Choose a favorite book.
Create a color-coded key. For example:
Blue = Calm
Red = Angry
Yellow = Happy
Green = Jealous
Purple = Sad
Read and tab together
As you (or your child) read, place tabs on the pages that evoke strong emotions—such as excitement, fear, comfort, or sadness.
