Supporting an Anxious Child in an Uncertain World
Seeing your child struggle with anxiety can be very challenging. In today’s technology driven world, children are constantly being exposed to stressful events, scary images and overwhelming content. If your child seems to have trouble coping with their worries, please know that you’re not alone. As parents, there are many things you can do to support your children in navigating their fears, managing their anxiety and building confidence.
Anxiety looks different for every child. Some children may have trouble sleeping, experience frequent tummy aches or headaches, or avoid certain activities. Others may struggle with racing thoughts, difficulty focusing, low self-esteem, or persistent worries about the future. No matter how anxiety shows up for your child, there are ways to support them in feeling safe, calm, and capable.
As a child therapist, I’d love to share some gentle, practical strategies to help your child manage their worries while fostering resilience and confidence.
Help your child regulate emotions using a bottom-up approach.
When a child is feeling anxious, their body often reacts before their brain can make sense of it. They might feel their heart racing, their stomach tightening, or their hands getting sweaty. Before asking them to talk about their feelings, try helping them regulate their body first.
A “bottom-up” approach focuses on calming the body and emotions before talking about thoughts and behaviors. Simple practices like deep breathing, grounding and mindfulness techniques, or movement-based activities can help reduce their body’s stress response and create a sense of safety. You can also co-regulate with your child by practicing these strategies together, showing them they’re not alone and that they have the tools to manage their feelings.
Acknowledge their feelings while helping them tolerate uncertainty.
Using a gentle, calm tone, acknowledge their emotions and let them know you’re there for them. Instead of saying, “Don’t worry, everything will be fine,” try:
• “I can see that you’re feeling really overwhelmed right now. I’m here with you.”
• “That sounds really tough. Let’s take a deep breath together and see how we can handle it.”
Children often seek constant reassurance when they’re anxious. This can become a habit that ends up increasing their anxiety because they learn that they need reassurance to feel better. It is important to help them build confidence in handling uncertainty and tolerating distressing emotions. Instead of providing definite answers, you can say, “I don’t know exactly what will happen, but I do know that you are strong and can get through hard things.” This helps them trust in their own ability to cope, even when things feel uncertain.
Offer comfort while avoiding excessive accommodation.
Accommodation refers to altering your behavior to avoid triggering anxiety in your child. It’s natural to want to protect your child from distress, but making changes to avoid triggering their anxiety, such as allowing them to skip activities or avoid certain situations, can reinforce fear rather than help them overcome it.
Instead, provide comfort while gently encouraging small steps toward facing their worries. A structured and consistent daily routine, open conversations about feelings, and regular movement, play and time for rest can create a sense of safety and predictability. When children learn that most of the time their anxiety is just a false alarm and not an actual indication of harm, they build up confidence in their ability to cope. If your child is struggling with avoidance, a therapist can help guide them through gradual exposures in creative, playful and empowering ways.
Have honest, age appropriate conversations and limit exposure to the media.
If your child sees or hears something upsetting, whether in the media or at school, create space for them to talk about it. Encourage them to ask questions, and respond with simple, honest, and developmentally appropriate answers. Encouraging your child to come to you for support if they see something that makes them feel anxious or scared helps them learn that they can tolerate something scary and be supported by someone who they trust.
It’s also helpful to set clear, consistent boundaries around technology use. Limiting exposure to distressing content, setting screen time rules, and encouraging breaks from screens can reduce unnecessary stress and help children feel more in control. Let your child know that if they ever see or hear something that worries them, they can always come to you for support.
Help children to manage their anxiety in playful ways.
Empower your child to problem-solve and engage in distracting or soothing activities when they are feeling anxious. If they need support, follow their lead and join them in their play or coping skills of choice. Movement, such as dancing, going to the park, or simply going on a mindful walk, can increase nervous system regulation and feelings of relaxation. Engaging in playful, creative activities with your children can also help them process and express their feelings and feel more connected to you. Some examples of creative outlets are journaling, painting, drawing and listening to or making music.
Helping a child feel more connected to their bodies by engaging the mind-body connection can make them feel more grounded and safe. Some examples are mindful breathing, yoga, doing a body scan, or playing freeze dance. One of my favorite mindfulness techniques is the 5-4-3-2-1 method: Name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
When your child is anxious, it is natural for that to trigger some anxiety for you, too. Make sure you check-in with yourself and take the time you need to regulate and cope with how you are feeling. Be gentle with yourself, and remember that you can always seek professional support if needed. It’s natural to want to take away your child’s worries, but the most powerful thing you can do is regulate your emotions and teach them that they are capable of handling their worries. With your steady presence, gentle guidance, and a few helpful tools, they can learn to navigate their fears and build confidence in themselves.
References
Brewer, J. (2021). Unwinding anxiety : new science shows how to break the cycles of worry and fear to heal your mind. Avery, Penguin Random House Llc.
Rapee, R. W., Ann; Spence, Susan; Lyneham, Heidi; Cobham, Vanessa. (2008). Helping Your Anxious Child : a Step-by-Step Guide for Parents. New Harbinger Publications.
Shore, A. (2013). The practitioner’s guide to child art therapy : fostering creativity and relational growth. Routledge.
